This is a tricky one. It’s not that being liked by your neighbours is a hard thing or anything like that. It’s just that you don’t want them to. Really, you don’t want them to like you. You know what? In fact, you don’t even want them to dislike you. Truth is, the best relationship you could have with your neighbours is one in which you don’t acknowledge their existence and they do just the same.
I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to have some kind of relationship with your neighbours. I’m pretty sure that some of you get along with them, share some beers and meet Sundays for some BBQ. I get it. I might even say that in some cases, this might be a healthy thing to do, and you know what? You’re actually lucky. You are one of the few persons on earth to have good neighbours that you can actually care about. Neighbours that give you your ball back when you throw it across the fence, that actually help you when they see you can’t get your car started, and so on… There is obviously some good people out there, don’t get me wrong.
And there’s the rest. In my case – and as in most cases – I have two neighbours. The one on the right, I don’t even know who he is. He might be a ghost, and that’s ok with me. He does his thing, I do mine. We’re both happy. The one on the left is a motorcycle enthusiast who smokes weed throughout most of the week. From that description, you’d think he’s a pretty cool guy, right? Let me stop you right there, pot-head. This guy has a parrot that talks – or at least, tries to in his high-pitched and annoying parrot voice – all day, all night, every single day. This creature is not only possessed by some malevolent being, but he has also been trained to go around the neighbourhood freely and to come back home when it pleases.
Now, that’s too much freedom for a parrot if you ask me. I cannot be mad at the animal only for behaving like a spoiled demon-child. Of course I can’t. I can only blame his motorcycle-possible-gang-member-pot-head owner. Now, would you like a guy like this to like you? No! Would you like him not to like you? Of course not. You just want him to ignore the mere fact that you exist, so you can both be happy.
Life lesson : Sometimes, it’s better to be unknown than liked. Mostly when your neighbour is a possible gang member (or a pirate. Who else owns a parrot?)
ACTUAL ADVICE : Neighbours are people you should always be in good terms with. You never know. Always say hello and be polite, everything should go just fine.
PROTIP : Can anyone tell me how to kill a parrot? Anyone?