I might be young, but I have a hard time understanding kids. They actually make me uncomfortable and I’m afraid of the day my friends will all have kids. I honestly don’t know what kids like or enjoy. To me, it doesn’t matter if they’re 5,10, 13 or 15, I just cannot grasp what they’re all about. I do not know what TV Shows they like, what cartoons they’re into, which characters they admire, what they read…
I just don’t know. The worst part is, I still feel like one and I actually watch cartoons from time to time (Adventure Time, Regular Show… or Rugrats and Dragon Ball, for example), but I have a hard time relating to them, since I watch these shows in another level (for their artistic value, just to give an example).
The best I can do, is to treat them as my equal, since we like the same things. So,when I meet kids, I talk to them as if they’re adults. I do not make any funny voices or talk down to them. I just talk with them about whatever they come up with. I feel they enjoy being treated that way, but I know I’m expected to interact with them as if they were babies until they’re 18 years old. A little girl came to me once to show me some drawing she was pretty proud of. It looked like the image on top of this post. All I could come up with was “Oh, that’s… great”. She looked at me, paused, smiled, and went away. As she left, her parents responded to my reaction by saying, in the most sarcastic way they could, “Oh, you’ll make such a great dad”. And that, in a way, made me happy. I’d rather be a fun uncle.
Life Lesson : Kids are serious business.
Actual Advice : Kids enjoy being taken seriously. After all, they spend their whole childhood wishing they were adults. Forget the silly voices and made-up interest.
PROTIP : Their drawings are terrible. That’s one thing you should say to them.
As a parent of two little girls (4 “almost 5″ and 1.5) I think you are pretty much right on the money. You’ll make a great dad. Someday.
I can relate to all that you say about kids. I too don’t have children but for some odd reason, they seem attracted to me. If there are children around they will gravitate toward me but, not truly knowing what the appeal is by them, I am at odds to respond short of saying `hi, how are you?’ sort of small talk. It can be a bit uncomfortable at times when they attempt to take my hand or want a hug especially knowing their parent(s) are at hand. I have learned when this happens to direct my attention not to the child but, to the parent. But it still is uncomfortable especially in these times when parents are weary of strangers and their kids and, rightly so.
Too, like you, I find treating children, no matter their age, as astute and understanding minds that I believe, garners a mutual respect that other adults unfortunately, fail to understand.
I think it is great that you talk to kids as adults. I think they appreciate that. I need to do that more often as sometimes when I’m around kids, I think I act younger than them. That might explain why sometimes they look at me strange
This is exactly how I relate to kids. And being the “fun aunt” is great.
Children can make some adults feel uncomfortable, it’s true. It doesn’t need to be this way though. You write about not talking down to children. Thank you for this. As someone who has worked with children for over twenty years, this comment is something I need to draw attention to. My other blog (you’ll find it if you want to, via the link to this comment of mine) deals with work and interactions with children.
How to be liked by children? I would add: be yourself; be open to knowing that children are important, that their play is important; see children for the creative people that they often are. Good post.
I agree!
Great post.
We tried something similar with my sister (she is 13 years younger than me) whilst she was growing up. I seem to remember her being given a 20 minute critique as to why her short story “What I did with my Weekend” (which she wrote as a homework assignment) was awful. We picked apart her spelling, grammar, character development and story arcs. Once you get past the tears, it works a charm.
Only downside is that she is had surpassed me in regards to IQ, writing ability, popularity, emotional maturity and having to ability to understand adult relationships. I now plan on borrowing a lot of money from her when she becomes a success.
that’s great – love the self-flagellation as your project passes you by.
I think kids are a lot like cats. I used to have a cat. It was a very superior sort of cat, very aware of it’s own importance and would only rarely condescend to acknowledge any visitors to the house. But . . .
let anyone come to my house who disliked cats and the cat would make a beeline for them, ignoring all other visitors, and arching her back, rub herself persistently against their legs before jumping up and settling herself on their laps
Like my cat, little kids (esp little girls) seem to instinctively sense I am uncomfortable around them and will ignore other adults in the room to single me out – much to my embarrassment !
I think kids are pretty awesome. It’s the babies that make me nervous.
Babies might be evil. MAYBE.
Kids are pretty intuitive I find, they can tell if you are not being ‘real’ toward them. Your advice is sound, treat them like small people and it will pay.
ps thanks for following my blog.
this is great- and you’re on the right track – just treat them like people not mini-martians.