How to be liked when you’re a telemarketer

This one’s supposed to be a phone

Today’s a rainy day. And like all rainy days, it’s the perfect day to quit that job you hate. At least, that’s what I did.

I started earlier this week. Went through two days of decent training and then, they brought us to the “grown-ups room” to have a little talk. The boss presented us, “the newbies” and went on a 45 minute rant on how to sell more of whatever it is we were selling. And then, he said : “Of course, you’re going to sound like a fag when you’re on the phone…”. Someone went “A what?” . From that moment on , I knew two things :

 

1. I had to stay for a few days, just because this was an opportunity to work at a place that would feel like a hardcore version of  “The Office”

2. I had to quit as soon as I could, just because I already hated it.

This being said, I’d like to share with you some of the impressions that this job gave me. Keep in mind that I met some really cool people there and that being a telemarketer isn’t as bad as it sound. It’s really not as boring as it might seem, it actually keeps you pretty occupied and hours go by really fast. There are some perks here and there to keep you motivated and so on. Still, there are some reasons why I couldn’t do it for more than a week.In a very serious and unbiased fashion, I’d like to share with you my experience as a telemarketer. I’d like to give you some insight, just so you know what you’re dealing with if you ever get a call from someone trying to sell you anything.

First of all, and this is a very obvious thing : telemarketers know what they’re doing. They’re people. They know they’re doing that job that no one likes, but for the most part, this is just an easy and transitional job. They do not want to do this the rest of their life. Also, most of the time they’re actually looking to give you a good deal, but, when they can’t, they are still obligated to insist  and try to sell you something. They hate it, but that’s how it is.

For instance, on my first day I sold a 60$ cellphone plan to a 62 year old man. This plan included data, so he could browse the Internet and all that good stuff. Of course, the poor man barely knew what the Internet was, but he got it because it seemed like a pretty sweet deal. I also tried to sell (I did not succeed) a very affordable plan to a person that had some very bad financial problems : this time I was actually trying to make her save some money. As you can see, I found myself in two different situations : in one I ripped someone off and on the other I didn’t manage to help them out. And this is how working there felt most of the time : when you can, you try to help people, but when you can’t, you have to rip the off, because that’s your job. The boss even said “Guys, stop being emotional. And, who the hell are you to care about these people? The government rips us off all the time!” (This is really what he said, I’m not making this up).  At the moment, I thought : “That’s not an argument. Why would I want to participate in that movement? I’d like to do good, not bad just because someone else does that“. But if you want your commission and the money, I guess you gotta do what you’re asked to. That’s your job.

Still, the telemarketers themselves are pretty good people, believe it or not. They’re just stuck into this bigger machine that tells them : this is what I pay you for and this is what I want you to do. Read the script. Do your lines. Sell the promotion. Close the deal and get your money. Again : if they can help you, they will. If they can’t, they have to try and sell you something. I’m sure I had more to say about this, but that’s all I could think of for now. If something comes up, I’ll make a new blogpost.

I won’t do the usual ” life lesson, actual advice and protip” thing. Instead, I’ll give you a list of things that will help you next time a telemarketer calls you.

• If you’re not interested, say “Please, do not call me again” or “Do not solicit” . They will take you off the list.
• If they’re offering you a more expensive plan while yours seems better, no matter what they say, always refuse.
• They do have some interesting promotions that will make you save money. You just have to take your time and make sure you’re getting what you want. Make sure you understand the conditions.
• Telemarketers are told not to care about emotion and ripping-off their clients. Keep that in mind.
• When you try to troll a telemarketer, you’re not wasting his time. You’re wasting yours. The guy is being paid either way. You’re actually making him work less, which he might like (I know I did!)
• They’re humans. Really. It might seem otherwise, but they really are and they’re just there to gain some money and get out. If you’re not interested, tell them as soon as you can.